Garage Sales & Fight Club

Wow have we been busy, busier than usual. Our time in Duluth was lots of fun, and this week's project is preparing for and holding a garage sale, which takes way more time than I thought it would. First of all, I didn't know that in just over a year we'd accumulated so much stuff in our home (we have great storage space, which means things pile up easily, out of sight), and honestly, most of it is not mine. Somehow, over the years, Jason has just acquired things, big things, not just household knick-knacks (spelling?), not junk. And part of the reason he has so much stuff is because it's still at his mom and dad's house, just 15 miles from here. Here's a quick overview of the larger items we have to sell:

• 4 dirt bike helmets
• Playstation 2
• Nintendo 64
• Game Cube
• Portable DVD player
• TV w/ VHS and DVD
• Stereo w/ speakers
• Snow blower
• Washing machine (yes it works, the belt just needs some tightening or replacement)
• Air compressor
• Moped
• Fish aquarium
• Saw drill & sawzall tool set
• Dishwasher
• Guitar
• Gun case
• File cabinet
• Fishing tackle box
• 2 industrial fans
• Video camera
• Dart board
• Poker chips
• Bike

And that's just some of the big stuff--we also have clothes and toys from Evelyn, among other random stuff (jewelery I haven't worn in years, shoes I haven't worn in years, purses I haven't used in years...all hiding in secret places). And you might be thinking "Well why are you getting rid of your washing machine?" or "Why are you selling your guitar at a garage sale?" But the thing is that most of the stuff on the list is an extra of something we already have. We have another guitar, we have a washing machine, we have a fish aquarium, we have a dart board, poker chips, file cabinet, etc., etc., etc. I know it sounds crazy, and you're probably thinking our house must be a clusterfuck, but it's really not. Like I said, most of it is in storage closets or in the garage or at Jason's parents'. And some of the stuff we have to sell is because we've recently upgraded....like we bought a bigger fish aquarium and a newer, more energy-efficient TV (we don't watch much TV but we love our Netflix!), and last year our washing machine broke, so we bought a newer, also more energy-efficient one, and then we found out that our old one wasn't really broke, just the belt came off, which is easily fixable, but we loved our new one so much, so the old one's just been sitting down there next to the new one. Obviously I'm hoping a lot of this stuff sells--it'll feel so rejuvenating to clean out our space. And of course I'm reminded of Fight Club, my favorite movie (in case you didn't already know), so I'll leave you with some of the movie's great quotes on stuff (I really need to read the book!):


"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man." --Tyler Durden

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."--Tyler Durden

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."--Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden: We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Narrator: Martha Stewart.
Tyler Durden: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.

"Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions."--Tyler Durden
 

He (or she) who dies with the most toys.....

Whenever I'm on the road and traveling, I love reading sings, all kinds of signs--storefronts, city signs, billboards, license plates, bumper stickers, etc. And I love to remember my favorites and record them. From the road trip to and from Chicago this weekend, here are my top three favorite signs:

1. License Plate:

"Nirvana" -- not sure if the owner of this vehicle is referring to the band, Buddhism, or something else, but my obsession with Kurt Cobain lands this license plate in the top three signs.

2. Bumper Sticker:

"Question Reality" -- well, do it.

3. The best sign I saw the whole weekend was (surprisingly, for me) in the front of a church, and it's too bad I can't remember the denomination of the church, but I remember the phrase word for word because it's the best phrase I've ever seen on a church sign, and if you can ignore, for a moment, the exclusively male pronoun, the message is a good one, and one that actually reminds me of my favorite movie, Fight Club ("you're not your fucking khakis..." & "the things you used to own, now they own you...."). Here it is:

"He who dies with the most toys
is still dead."

"By-products of a lifestyle obsession"

Most people are materialistic to a certain extent (including myself), but the holidays always seem to bring out the extreme cases, like this Florida couple who set up camp outside of Bestbuy on Wednesday in order to get deals on Black Friday. From the article,

"We've been doing this for six years now and we got beat out by the same guy for the last six years," said Lorie Davenport. "So this year, we said, this might be our last year, it might be our last hurrah, so we're coming extra early if we have to because we are gonna be first if it kills us."

Now that is extreme. They must really really want or need something that's really really cool, right? You would think . . . however:

Although the couple say they're not sure what they'll buy when the doors open at 5 a.m. next Friday, they are hoping for a good deal on a large-screen TV or perhaps something from the Apple Mac line.

To me, that's the worst part: they don't even know what they are standing in line for, and I don't think they even care that much, as long as they get a good deal on something. I have an image of that Honeycombs cereal mascot - that spazzed furry thing that jumps around saying "Me want honeycomb! Me want honeycomb!" That's how I imagine these people: "Me want good deal! Me want good deal!" Insanity!

I am not going to any store on Black Friday because I can't stand large crowds of insanity (large crowds at an amazing concert - different story). The good deals just aren't worth it, and I don't want stuff just because it's a good deal. Even if I did go, I'd never get a deal on anything I want because I would never camp out, so I'd get to the store when the shelves are half-empty, and I'm not pushy enough to get to the shelf first.

I'll end it with quotes from my latest obsession, Fight Club (the film - I have yet to read the book):

"You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you."

"We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra. "

"Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler."

Happy Saturday! (I almost typed Friday, not because I was thinking about Black Friday, but because I honestly thought it was Friday. I do this a lot.)