SAD

I'm pretty convinced that I have a form of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), although in addition to feeling down for most of winter, I think I have a form of it that surfaces whenever I experience a lack of sunshine for several days, even in the summer (I don't know if a form of SAD like that actually exists, I'm totally self-diagnosing here). For instance, today has been the first sunny day of the whole week, and there is a significant difference in my mood and energy level compared to the last few days. The way I felt the last few days (lethargic, exhausted, overall blah), is how I'm used to feeling during much of winter. According to PubMed Health, these are the symptoms of SAD:

• Afternoon slumps with decreased energy and concentration (check!)
• Increased appetite with weight gain (weight loss is more typical of other forms of depression) (half-check--my appetite increases but my weight does not and I think this is because I have a freakishly high metabolism, and a two-year-old)
• Increased sleep and excessive daytime sleepiness (problems sleeping are more typical of other forms of depression) (check!)
• Lack of energy and loss of interest in work or other activities (half-check....I usually don't lose interest in my work, except maybe during January, the coldest, shittiest month of the year)
• Slow, sluggish, lethargic movement (check!)
• Social withdrawal (um...I think I'm normally socially withdrawn, but only when I'm in the mood to be. In other words, my social withdrawal has nothing to do with SAD but with my personality)
• Unhappiness and irritability (check)

And the way I felt this week was not just an, "Oh gosh, I didn't have enough coffee this morning" kind of tired. And it was not an, "Oh, I'll just take a 10-minute snooze and my energy level will be right back up" kind of tired. I was so tired that the second Evelyn was in her crib for nap I walked the 20 steps to my bed, fell into it, and zonked out for over two hours. This was Tuesday. And I wasn't up late the night before, and I'd gotten up around 6:30-7 and had my big cup of coffee just like I do every morning. Ridiculous, I say.

Wednesday I did a photo shoot and then was Evelyn's party, so I couldn't think about being tired (see, that's part of it, I need plenty of distractions), but then yesterday it was the same thing - a deep two hour nap in the middle of the afternoon.

And when I woke up this morning the first thing I said to Jason was, "The sun is shining," in a groggy, half-asleep stupor, but still thrilled. And it is now the middle of the afternoon, and I don't feel the need for a nap (yay!). I've already mowed the lawn (and picked up and stepped in dog shit), inflated and filled Evelyn's new pool, and I even felt so energetic that I decided to go beyond the easy spaghetti for tonight's dinner and took Evelyn to the store (and post office and bank) for ingredients for penne w/ ricotta and zucchini. And big organic strawberries for dessert. I'm even wearing a sundress and feel great!

Of course, I've never been clinically diagnosed with SAD (and probably won't be due to my strong aversion to clinics and such), but I swear the sun has got me under her spell..... I told you I was meant to be a California girl.... ;-)