On Introverts: Busting Myths

I just came across a post by Rachel Lynn on her blog stuff i think about, in which she shares and explains 10 myths about introverts. I am blown away by how accurately she describes the falsity of each myth, and I have to share it here, adding some of my own thoughts too.

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
Rachel says: This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

I say: She's so right (see my recent post concerning small talk) 

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Rachel says: Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

I say: Again, she's so right.  

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Rachel says: Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

I say: This goes along with the small talk thing, especially in new situations. I loathe introductions and the "Hi, it's nice to meet you, blah blah blah." Let's get to the point and talk something fun! But, as Rachel says, this is not socially acceptable. And so I feel awkward. 

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
Rachel says: On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

I say: Again, interacting with and getting to know people can be exhausting, which can make it difficult to form friendships. But once I do form friendships, I can become pretty attached and miss my friends greatly. I think it also depends on the environment, though, because at school in Vermont, I've found myself making more friends than I ever have before, and I think this is because we're all writers, so we already have some major characteristics in common. And I'd bet most of us, if not at least the majority, consider ourselves introverts. 

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Rachel says: Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

I say: True. I love to go out, if I'm in the mood. And again, it depends on the environment, and, as Rachel says, I'll quickly pick up on what's going on and be able to tell if it's my scene or not. And if it is my scene, I can guarantee I'll be the last one to go to bed. 

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Rachel says: Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

I say: So true. I love to be alone. But not all the time (see myth #5). And while I tend to steer away from making social commitments, sometimes I do get terribly lonely. 

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Rachel says: Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

I say: Agreed. I highly value individualism and thinking for oneself. Highly, highly value. 

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Rachel says: Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

I say: Very true. I look inward and outward, in that I deeply experience what is around me. But I also get lost in my thoughts.....

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Rachel says: Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

I say: Yes! I learned about this in my psychology courses at WSU, and find this explanation for personality differences both accurate and fascinating. But again, it depends on the scene - if it's good music, the louder the better. But that's pretty much the only thing I feel that way about. Other noise, and clutter (like crap on the counter and table and stuff), really get to me. Which is why I'm having only one child :-) 

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Rachel says: Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

I say: I've never heard of anyone saying introverts need to be fixed, and I don't feel pressured to be. 

Are you an introvert, extrovert, or a combination?